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May 16th, 2008 @ 14:24
It’s Friday and we’re shit-bored because the internet’s died, but we have to give you content or you stop reading the website. To that end, Sierra very kindly sent through a Bourne Conspiracy t-shirt this morning, and, being so very fucking nice, we thought we’d let you try to win it. It’s “medium” and “blue”. It says on the front of it that the game will allow you to “become the perfect weapon”. Sounds awesome. Answer the following question in the comments thread to this story. Best one wins it.
Q: Why do you want to become the perfect weapon/tool/instrument?
Pictures after the link. We’ll post it anywhere. We’re not proud.
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May 16th, 2008 at 2:29 pm
DO NOT CHARGE ALL AT ONCE.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
I’m already the perfect instrument. It’s why I don’t need a t-shirt to impress the ladies.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Because I already have a slot for batteries that’s totally going to waste.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:32 pm
You’re in the lead. It’s practically yours.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Neck and neck!
May 16th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
I’m not sure I can compete with Blerk’s battery slot.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Heh.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
too late. i stopped reading this site over an hour ago and am now about to burn my house down.
looks like i win.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
I’m going to Holland tomorrow. I’ll pick someone from my hotel. You’re only in with a chance if you show pictures and video of your house burning down.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Pat: Holland offers those sorts of services in hotels now? Awesome. \o/
May 16th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
PT: Yeah, you wouldn’t believe the wold nights I have writing videogames news on the internet from my room. I have to keep it from the wife, obviously.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I think I need to increase my browser’s default font size. I thought he said he was going to “bum my house down”.
May 16th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
A game based t-shirt in medium? Whoever works in the PR department at Sierra needs to do more research into potential customers!
May 16th, 2008 at 2:57 pm
Pat:
Whizzo: I think that means I win by default as I’m likely the only person here who could fit into it! o/
May 16th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
Why do you think I’m giving it away?
*belly-tap*
May 16th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
I weigh less than ten stones. Medium’s probably a bit big for me.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:04 pm
The only two slim gamers and they’re both posting on VG247. Scary.
You should probably make your advertisers aware of it.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:09 pm
I’m putting all this into a spreadsheet right now. Cadbury’s will be very pleased. They’re preaching to the non-chocolate-eating public.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:12 pm
didn’t realise there’s a competition integrated into this post. should probably read them properly next time. though in my defense i am currently bumming someones house down.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
I love chocolate, me. It just doesn’t ‘affect me’ in a fat bastard kind of a way.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
I was considering giving our shirt away too, I am also too er…robust…for the Bourne shirt I’ve been sent.
May 16th, 2008 at 3:18 pm
Blerk: Goes straight to my hips. =(
/powerwalks
May 16th, 2008 at 3:28 pm
your child bearing hips?
May 16th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
Answer:
… because then I can do many things, such as win this competition and wear the t-shirt until I’m too big to fit in it, just like Ronnie Coleman
May 16th, 2008 at 3:39 pm
I need to become the perfect weapon so I can avenge the death of my father (the late Baron Part-Deadly) who’s martial art skills were 6 percent too average to defeat his arch nemesis (the evil Dr Sufficiently-Violent) who repeatedly scored in the 99th percentile on the villain SATs. Statistically speaking then, the only chance I have to defeat this evil doer, thus honouring my family and clearing the slurred name of my father who was wrongly accused of burning down the local orphanage, then chasing the burning orphans, putting out the flames and then individually burning them again, is to score 100%.
Then after I do that I’ll probably take a year out, do some travelling… perhaps then go back do a masters you know?
May 16th, 2008 at 3:54 pm
O_o
May 16th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I got the demo disc with the t-shirt as well. I’ve just played it, so I’ll chuck it in as a bonus.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
Shouldn’t you sharpen the edges and chuck it at the neck of the winner?
May 16th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
Blerk: It’s seems like the more Bourne-esque thing to do.
May 16th, 2008 at 4:21 pm
It actually uses the word “weaponize” in the demo. So Bourne. So perfect. So weapon.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
i would like to become the perfect weapon that i might hunt down and kill all the evil ninjas who persist in putting holes in my socks
i would also like a free t-shirt, even if it is a bit naff
May 16th, 2008 at 5:07 pm
El_MUERkO: But what if the ninjas put holes in the t-shirt? What if it’s not the ninjas after all… but the squirrels. No-one ever suspects the squirrels.
May 16th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
Answer:
I want to become the perfect instrument so that when I pass people on the street they turn around and say: “My my… there goes one fine looking instrument”.
PS: and to be able to do push ups on two fingers just like Bruce Lee.
May 16th, 2008 at 10:08 pm
To be Totally Awesome. Nuff’ said. =)
May 17th, 2008 at 3:44 pm
Mine turned up today so you can shove your competition up your arse!
May 17th, 2008 at 6:25 pm
Yeah… but we all know you’re too fat to wear it as anything but an armband morriss… send it to me!